Writing from somewhere real.
These are dispatches from the work — observations, reflections, and the occasional thing I couldn't stop thinking about until I wrote it down. Some began as newsletters. Others arrived on their own. All of them are created from somewhere honest.
I was racing through my own erotic life.
For a long time, my sexuality had a kind of speed to it. A narrowness. Like I'd built a very specific internal checklist — if the intensity is right, then it counts. What I didn't notice, for years, was how much I was missing.
He had no idea he changed something in me.
There's a guy I think about often. I don't know his name. I never spoke to him. He wore a red hoodie pulled down over his eyes and he was completely, utterly gone — lost in his body, free in a way I'd never seen anyone be free before.
The space is never going to feel safe enough.
How often are you waiting to feel safe enough before you do the thing you actually want to do? You check the details — who's coming, how many people, what it might ask of you. And at the same time, something in you already wants to say yes.
I used to think my shifting interests made me unreliable.
I've been thinking a lot about this past year — what's shifted, what I've learned, and the direction things are naturally moving in. I've been sharing a lot of updates about events and retreats, but not so much about the deeper journey behind all of this. So today, I want to share more personally.