Questions before you arrive.
If you have any curiosities or hesitations, about whether this is for you, what to expect, or how things work, there's a good chance the answer is here. And if it isn't, you're always welcome to get in touch directly.
-
Absolutely and unequivocally yes. My work is primarily attended by gay, bi and queer men, and it is fully open to trans and non-binary people who feel drawn to it. If you're unsure whether a specific event is the right fit for you, please get in touch — I'm always happy to have that conversation before you book.
-
Yes — and you're not alone. A lot of people arrive at their first event not quite knowing what to expect, slightly nervous, and wondering if everyone else knows something they don't. They don't. Part of what I do is create spaces where arriving as a beginner is not just okay but genuinely welcomed. You don't need experience, prior knowledge, or any particular version of yourself. You just need to show up.
-
My events tend to draw a mix of ages — usually somewhere between early thirties and mid-fifties, though this varies. Age has never been a barrier to the work, and in my experience mixed-age rooms often have a richness to them that more homogeneous groups don't. If you have a specific concern, feel free to ask before booking.
-
Most of my events are created with gay, bi, queer, and trans men in mind — and that's the community they primarily serve. Ecstatic dance events are more openly inclusive. If you're questioning, exploring, or don't fit neatly into a label, you're likely welcome — but again, if you're unsure, just ask. I'd rather have that conversation than have you arrive feeling like you shouldn't be there.
Who this work is for
-
Every workshop is different, but the through-line is the same: you arrive, you're welcomed, and we spend time together in ways that gently move beyond the surface. This usually involves some form of movement or somatic practice, guided exercises in pairs or small groups, space to reflect, and time to simply be present with others. There is no performing, no right way to do it, and no pressure to go further than feels right for you. The container is strong enough to hold whatever arrives.
-
It depends on the event. Some workshops explore touch, sensuality, and erotic energy in ways that are present and embodied — but this is always held within a clear container and built on explicit consent. Others are entirely non-sexual. Each event description will tell you what to expect, and if you're unsure, please ask before booking. I'd rather you have accurate expectations than arrive with the wrong ones in either direction.
-
No. Consent and choice are foundational to everything I facilitate. You are always free to observe, step back, or opt out of any exercise or activity — without explanation, without pressure, and without it being a problem. Choosing not to participate in something is as valid as choosing to. The container is there to support you, not to push you somewhere you haven't chosen to go.
-
Workshop sizes vary — typically between eight and twenty participants, depending on the format. Retreats are smaller and more intimate by design. Ecstatic dance events can be larger.
-
Yes — all workshops, retreats, and facilitated events are held in English. You don't need to be a native speaker; most participants aren't. If you have concerns about language, get in touch and we can talk it through.
-
Both — it depends on the event. Some workshops and all ecstatic dance events I facilitate alone. Retreats and some workshops are co-facilitated with people whose work I trust and know well. The event description will always tell you who is in the room.
What to expect
-
Consent is not a formality in my work — it is the foundation everything is built on. Every event begins with a clear agreement about how we are with each other: how we ask, how we receive a no, how we take care of ourselves and each other. Touch, proximity, and any form of shared experience always require an explicit yes — and that yes can be withdrawn at any point without question. I take this seriously not because it's the right thing to say, but because I have seen what becomes possible when people genuinely feel safe.
-
Yes — and I want to be honest about what that means. I am not a therapist, and my events are not therapeutic programmes. What trauma-informed means in my practice is that I understand how the body holds experience, that I know how to hold space when something difficult surfaces, and that I design containers with enough safety and enough agency that people can choose their own depth. If something comes up during an event, you will not be alone with it — and you will not be pushed to go further than is right for you.
-
This is more common than people expect — and it is welcome. Emotion arising is often a sign that something real is happening. You won't be left alone with it: I keep a close eye on the room and will check in if I sense something is needed. There is always space to step away, to be quiet, or to have a conversation if that would help. What I ask is that you don't disappear without letting me or a co-facilitator know you're okay.
-
This is one of the most common unspoken worries people bring to this work — and it's worth naming directly. My spaces are not about attraction or sexual chemistry. They are about presence, connection, and what becomes possible when we slow down enough to actually feel another person. They are learning spaces for you to discover yourself and take these discoveries into your life. Some of the most profound experiences people have in my rooms happen with someone they would never have chosen. Attraction is not the point. Showing up is.
-
Yes — and all of my events are substance-free spaces. There is no alcohol or recreational substances at any workshop, retreat, or dance event I facilitate. This is intentional: the work asks you to be present, and presence and substances don't always mix well. Some events include cacao — a plant-based drink with mild, heart-opening properties — but this is always optional, clearly stated in advance, and never a condition of participation. If you're someone who is sober by choice or by necessity, you will be in good company.
Consent, safety & emotional support
-
For workshops and one-day events, tickets are non-refundable — but they are transferable. If you can't make it, you're welcome to pass your ticket to someone else. In deeply extenuating circumstances, please get in touch and we can talk. For week-long retreats, there are specific refund policies and will vary depending on how far in advance you cancel.
-
Yes — partners are welcome at all events. If you're coming together and would like to work with each other for some or all of the event, that's completely fine — I'd just ask that you let me know in advance so I can hold that in mind when designing the space.
What I would encourage, regardless of how you choose to participate on the day, is having a conversation with each other before you arrive. My spaces can open things up — in ways that are sometimes unexpected — and it's worth knowing in advance what your agreements are with each other, where your edges are, and how you'll make sure you come back into connection after the event. That kind of preparation isn't a warning — it's an invitation to arrive more consciously, together.
-
Yes, completely. Most people attend alone. Being in a relationship — of whatever kind — is neither a barrier nor a requirement. The work is about your own relationship with yourself and with the people in the room, whatever your relationship status outside of it.
-
No prior experience is needed. Conscious kink in my work is not primarily about technique — it is about curiosity, presence, and the exploration of power, sensation, and surrender in a safe and intentional container. People come with all levels of experience, from complete beginners to those who have been in kink communities for years. What matters is your willingness to be present and to respect the people around you.
-
Read the event description carefully — and notice how your body responds, not just your head. If something in you moves toward it, that's usually worth following. If you're genuinely unsure, get in touch before booking. I'm happy to have a brief conversation to help you figure out whether a particular event is a good fit for where you are right now.
-
Yes — and for retreats in particular, I'd encourage it. A brief conversation before a week-long commitment makes sense for both of us. For workshops and one-day events, I'm also happy to answer questions, though the event description and this FAQ cover most of what people want to know. Get in touch via the Contact page and we'll find a time.
Booking & practicalities
Still have a question?
If something isn't covered here, I'm always happy to hear from you directly.